Saturday, March 25, 2017

Wilderness Golf, Florida style, and some Birds, Flowers and More along the Way

January-March 2017

Deeply inspired by Jasper Friendly Bear, of the late, great CBC radio programme Dead Dog CafĂ© Comedy Hour, I have adapted the game to the Florida wilderness!

In the following six photos, I demonstrate required equipment, a typical course and technique (the binoculars are not required, but come in handy for bird-watching during the long periods when your opponent's turn comes up).

In Central Florida, it is best to collect the necessities after a wind storm, which do occur now and then in deepest, coldest winter.  Thanks goodness, the local trees (oak, hickory, sweet gum, pine, and red maple) lose branches of the exact length necessary, preferably with a substantial club-like end for hitting the projectile.

The projectile is also derived from the sweet gum tree, as they shed their prickly round fruit during winter, which are the exact size required.  You can also use slash pine cones, but their size and shape are problematic.

The sweet gum fruit prickles do prevent rolling. This does add an interesting dimension to the game, which, I would offer, is way more interesting than the little dimpled golf eggs that the inebriated Scottish game inventors have forced upon us for the popular, but dull, standard game.

This fairway, the paved 2.5 mile trail, does not end in a traditional "hole", but rather, in a parking lot, which is a mere 5 minutes from the local watering hole. The player who gets their projectile to the parking lot in the least time, with minimal strokes (it is still a game of honour, and each player must keep track of both strokes and time) wins, whatever use that is.  The score is calculated as follows:

Time/3 x strokes - 1/4 age of player + 1/2 weight (in kilograms) of player x number of parking lots played.

Most people find that an 18 parking lot game takes too long (usually a  month). Therefore, the 9 parking lot game is more common. I will be pleased to answer any questions so you can get right out there and play,